remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
