Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
