I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my phone needs a breathalizer
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
