In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
