Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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