Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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