i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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