What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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