I faked an abortion last night.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize