Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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