My hand turned me down
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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