You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
