You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
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Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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