The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
