Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
