just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize