3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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