I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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