You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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