Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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