i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
