Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
