arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
if i died would you start the facebook group?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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