Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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