I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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