Life is so much better after having sex.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
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I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
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My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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