I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
