What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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