using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
