i was born a porn star she said
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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