While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
