I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
