kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize