it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
A bitchslap is in order.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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