I wannas sexs uuuuu
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
