is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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