Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
