There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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