I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
