You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just tell him i said nine months
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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