I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i dont even know how to be here
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
