There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
