"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize