No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
