you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
