it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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