he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
