For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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