For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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