I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
