just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Congratulations! We have a period
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize