I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have post one night stand depression
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
