a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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