It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
