Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
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I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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