Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
porn star boner night. come get it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize