tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
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