Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
